just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My vagina just clenched in fear
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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