I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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