I cannot find my penis.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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