she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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