k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just want to make out with him forever
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
