this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
NoShamevember. You game?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
