my sisters under your porch take her home
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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