Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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