Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
