highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
