Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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