I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
