420 ftw
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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