Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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