Dual....:-)
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
