I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
