ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
