The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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