There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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