It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
