"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
