hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
