Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Two words: blizzard sex
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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