No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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