you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
