I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize