So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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