I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.