Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
