In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
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my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
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Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying