Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.