You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
