im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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