My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
