She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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