just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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