I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
