remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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