she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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