Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
