PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Only a mothe r could love this liver
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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