apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize