Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Its about making memories worth repressing
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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