i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My life is pants optional.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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