I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
