As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
