took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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