Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
