Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
