i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
