I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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