it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
