been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
