He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
