I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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