I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize