We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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