Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize