dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
