if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
