Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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